the road is long



Six months into the working world, and lately it feels like I hit a new career low every day. Work not up to satisfaction, careless mistakes, struggling to meet deadlines and watching others juggle on with apparent ease; it gets tiring, depressing, bad for spirits. I feel nervous, inept, tired. It's been one of those spells where it seems like no matter how hard I try, something conspires to trip me over and all my efforts seem foolish.

This is not a slide into depression and self-pity (I hope!), it's just a state of mind I think of as my first-ever career crisis. It will get better, it HAS to get better, I need to believe that struggles are part of every career and I can't possibly be the only person in the office feeling this useless.

Cheering me up are small things - reading old Ishiguro favourites, reading blogs (usually about fashion, photography, food, writing), blogging, playing music at top volume, chocolates and er, getting dressed. It makes me feel better to know that however badly things go, I got my outfit right. Or at least, to my personal satisfaction.

This is the thing about fashion - I belong to the tribe of people that refuse to take it too seriously, because I need to be fun, nothing to agonise over (I leave the agonising to the fashion professionals who make their living from this), something to add a bit of joy, even if it's only a pair of well-worn jeans and a beloved cardigan. So, on with the next outfit for the day, and let's hope I muster the same energy to pull through this messy work cesspit I am in.


Photo by RJ Shaughnessy, taken from http://community.livejournal.com/foto_decadent/

Comments

dreamecho said…
we all have our ups and downs. some days i feel like i've done great work at the office, other days i screw up so much i wish i had never left home!

i know things'll get better for you; you gotta just keep on pushing forward.

p.s. thanks for having me in your blogroll! i'm adding you back.
K.Line said…
Ms. Addict: I can so relate to what you are saying. I've been in the workforce for many years now, but those first 2 or 3 were extremely stressful. I think it's the relative lack of experience coupled with an urge to do one's best and also to succeed. It does get better (slowly but surely) so keep that in mind.
fashionaddict said…
dreamecho: Thanks (both for the encouragement and for adding me to the blogroll)!

k.line: Will definitely keep that in mind. Already keeping that in mind as I step out to face another day at work :) Thanks for the encouragement!
enc said…
I floundered for awhile when I first started working, too. I didn't know what was expected of me, and I didn't know work etiquette. It made my days a struggle, until I learned how to function in the workplace. I also found a mentor. It's like anything new: it takes getting used to. Soon you'll be a star, knowing what to do, who to ask for help, and how to help yourself. Nobody starts out knowing all that.

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