the road is long
Six months into the working world, and lately it feels like I hit a new career low every day. Work not up to satisfaction, careless mistakes, struggling to meet deadlines and watching others juggle on with apparent ease; it gets tiring, depressing, bad for spirits. I feel nervous, inept, tired. It's been one of those spells where it seems like no matter how hard I try, something conspires to trip me over and all my efforts seem foolish.
This is not a slide into depression and self-pity (I hope!), it's just a state of mind I think of as my first-ever career crisis. It will get better, it HAS to get better, I need to believe that struggles are part of every career and I can't possibly be the only person in the office feeling this useless.
Cheering me up are small things - reading old Ishiguro favourites, reading blogs (usually about fashion, photography, food, writing), blogging, playing music at top volume, chocolates and er, getting dressed. It makes me feel better to know that however badly things go, I got my outfit right. Or at least, to my personal satisfaction.
This is the thing about fashion - I belong to the tribe of people that refuse to take it too seriously, because I need to be fun, nothing to agonise over (I leave the agonising to the fashion professionals who make their living from this), something to add a bit of joy, even if it's only a pair of well-worn jeans and a beloved cardigan. So, on with the next outfit for the day, and let's hope I muster the same energy to pull through this messy work cesspit I am in.
Photo by RJ Shaughnessy, taken from http://community.livejournal.com/foto_decadent/