influenced, uninfluenced, and surviving Black Friday

I have to admit, for the first time in a while, I was pretty excited when Black Friday rolled around, because I had been eyeing a few cute things for a while, and I thought a discount would seal the deal. I never found Black Friday discounts particularly exciting compared to say, end of season markdowns, but the past two years of stasis had me craving for the thrills of retail therapy. 

I spent ages online, but in the end, I bought nothing. 

Well, ok I did, but not any of the things that I thought would thrill me most. I didn't buy the cute bedspread, I didn't buy the cool clogs. Instead, I bought a vacuum cleaner and a vacuum flask from my local department store, a white t-shirt that wasn't on sale, and a necklace from a social enterprise.

Somehow, when it came to the moment of adding things to cart, I felt the urge to get away from the the things I spent months wanting. I had a feeling that as soon as all the cute, cool girl-approved things arrived, they would lose their appeal. I would realise that life was not a series of photogenic moments where objects could sooth me. And I would feel guilty.

So in the end, I fed the consumption monster, but tried to stick to things that made sense for my needs. I needed a vacuum cleaner, so I bought a nice one at a good price thanks to a modest discount and rebate dollars I earned from past purchases. I used the same rebate dollars to buy myself a new flask that met my exact specifications (500ml, wide mouth for easy cleaning, has a handle, chic colour). 

On the frivolous front, the new tee is from Buck Mason and I hope it is the cropped tee I have been dreaming of (boxy but not too boxy, cropped but not too cropped). And after years of wanting an everyday chain link necklace, I finally found one by a Nepali designer via Artisan & Fox, with just enough details to make it special.

And last month, unrelated to Black Friday, I bought a new pair of prescription glasses. I wear glasses daily and regular eye checks and a back-up pair is always a good idea.

None of the things I bought are the things I obsess over on IG. They're things I've seen in person and considered carefully whether they worked for my life, or they're things recommended by friends who understand my sensibilities. 

I feel relief over not giving into impulse. I think there is nothing wrong with waiting for a discount to buy something, but the intense messaging around Black Friday (and 11.11 etc etc) makes me really uncomfortable, knowing that I am being primed to shop. It actually makes me question a potential purchase more than I usually would. 

Of course I still want things. I have been stalking the Acne Studios Musubi bag for almost two years now (many have come and gone on the resale sites I stalk) but have held back as I hardly go anywhere with a small leather bag these days. I am still looking for the right leather belt. I am highly tempted to order another pair of wide-legged linen trousers from NotPerfectLinen. And I'm trying to resist it but I really would like a pair of knit trousers from Uniqlo's upcoming collab with Mame Kurogouchi. 

But first, a pause. I am excited about the denim midi skirt I am making in my drafting and sewing course. I am highly challenged by the linen blouse I am making in the same course. I am wondering whether my money is better spent buying a sewing machine when the course is over. I am anticipating the arrival of my new t-shirt. I am finally decluttering ahead of my big move next year. What will matter to me most?