a formula for satisfaction


It's 8.30am, and I'm getting dressed for the day. I'm working from home, so I start reaching for my jogger pants. But I stop myself, and reach for a dress instead - long, light blue cotton, with a graphical flower print in dark blue. It's loose in the body with thin shoulder straps, so I add a navy blue merino wool turtleneck that's long and wide in the body.

The outfit works. Everything is soft and doesn't pull uncomfortably or pinch as I go about my day, which is essential when I'm at home. It has visual impact without sacrificing ease. I can both enjoy it and be comfortably indifferent. I like the outfit so much that I repeat it a few days later when I meet a friend to celebrate her birthday over brunch. And I can think of a few ways to vary on this theme. 

I would like to feel like this all the time, or at least most of the time, but I do not. In recent years, more often than not, I have been quite bored with how I dress. 

I could blame the pandemic, and indeed working from home removed the social nudge to think about how I dress. But even before the pandemic, I would from time to time, catch my reflection in a mirror in the middle of the day, and feel a bit deflated. I felt like my preferences had evolved but I wasn't sure how. I was still drawn to simple, classic styles of clothing, but I was finding it surprisingly hard to put them together in a way that felt personal. 

The push became a shove when I moved countries. Choosing what clothes to pack or part with gave me the most grief. I didn't want to part with certain items but I couldn't say why. Questions like "Do I need this?" and "Does this make me happy?" felt lacking. There was a space between function and fun, but I could't quite grasp it. 

Eventually, I came to see that while I pride myself on being a pragmatist when it comes to clothes, I had become too hung up on the functional; I was overlooking the simple fact that some pieces were chosen for more than their function. Stripes and polka dots, for example, did not perform a practical function. Nor did the boxy cut on my denim jacket. Nor the A-line shape of my skirts.

I chose these things because they speak to me, and in turn they say something about me, but I didn't wear them in a way that reflected that. 

Recognising these tiny distinctions (probably insignificant to most) made me think a bit harder about the place each piece of clothing had in my wardrobe. And I started grouping things. And ended up with something like this. 

The basics (useful and necessary)

  • Slim-fit crewneck t shirts in neutral colours (crewneck)
  • Slim-fit long-sleeve tees (crewneck)
  • A slim-fit merino wool jumper (crewneck)
  • Slim-fit tank tops/muscle tees
  • Tailored slouchy-slim black trousers 
  • Jogger pants
  • Denim shorts
  • A black cotton jersey sleeveless dress 
  • Basic canvas totes (most freebies)
  • Classic sandals (Birkenstock Arizonas, some A.P.C ones that look like Saltwaters)
  • Classic sneakers (Common Projects Achilles)
Items in this category tended be slim fitting, quite classic in style, and in neutral colours like white, off white, grey and navy. 

The personal (useful but also reflecting individual taste and preference)

  • Straight-leg jeans, mid or high-rise, cropped or cuffed at the ankle
  • Wide-leg high-waisted trousers  
  • Boxy cropped tank tops
  • Camisoles in delicate fabrics
  • Plain A-line midi skirts 
  • An oversized denim jacket
  • A couple of boxy knits
  • Crossbody bags (Celine Trio, Acne Musubi)
  • Chunky but practical shoes (Melissa x Open Ceremony jelly sandals, Birkenstock Boston clogs)
Items in this category are more specific in terms of cut - more volume and structure, stronger lines. Colour and pattern preferences also start to emerge in this group, like warm pinks and yellows, and gingham and stripes. And a lot of navy. The camisoles add a touch of softness to the mix. 

The fun/random things (not impractical, but not chosen for their utility)

  • Skirts with drama (Marimekko prints; a Uniqlo x JWA plaid; a very full and voluminous khaki COS skirt)
  • Dresses with drama (Marimekko prints; a Joseph polka dot shirtdress, a Lisa Marie Fernandez shirtdress)
  • Elizabeth Suzann Clyde jumpsuit 
  • Caron Callahan plaid quilted coat
  • A couple of voluminous blouses
  • Strappy sandals (my wedding shoes from Tabitha Simmons, old Bimba and Lola flat sandals with pom-poms)
  • Fancy handbags (my Baobao bag with the metallic paint effect)
  • Things with interesting or rich textures (an embroidered Megan Park blouse, a cotton blouse with Chincero-style embroidery, an old striped Zara shirt embroidered all over with flowers) 
This category is filled with occasion wear, emotional buys, the odd experiment, and sentimental things. There's a lot more colour and print, and styles that I don't find anywhere else in my closet, like the ES jumpsuit, or the blouses with big sleeves. They get the least wear and require the most effort to style, but they all have some kind of story and speak to an emotional part of me that I don't quite have the words for.

I'd long thought of personal style as being about a mood, a feeling, and I avoided being methodical about it because I felt it would kill the romance that makes dressing joyful. But laying it out like this was such a relief, because it then became so obvious what it takes to create the mood and sense of joy I was after. When I only wear basics, I feel fine but not great. When I mix basics with the personal and the random, something more satisfying starts to happen. 

Having a formula should feel contrived, but somehow it feels liberating. I appreciate my clothes not only for what they are, but also what they can be. Satisfied with my choices, I can relax into my outfit, and melt into my day. 

Do you have a formula, a go-to, or a standby principle for getting dressed to your satisfaction? 

Comments

lin said…
Pret a Porter P: Oh I still have it! Wasn't very comprehensive when I was listing examples.

Functional and soul-stirring in a single piece is gold indeed! I find it is easier to mix and match to achieve the ideal blend....well not easier, more like it makes me less likely to shop because I'm less driven by the idea of the perfect XYZ (I always fall into that trap of thinking that a certain piece will solve all my problems).
Jenkr said…
I'm usually in the same sort of leggings and tee combo nowadays. It's nothing that makes me excited and functions just fine for going out as well as hanging around the house. I do think I'm a bit tired of the leggings though because I've been reaching for more trousers lately. So I guess it depends on my "meh" level and whether or not I can be bothered to put on something with more effort.

I liked seeing your breakdown list. It makes a lot of sense and got me thinking of what fit which lists within my own wardrobe. Oddly enough I don't think I have many fun/random things. Two dresses and maybe some sandals at most. I think most of my wardrobe fits staunchly in the basics and personal categories and both of those are full in the Functional category.

When I worked from home I always got dressed each morning before going to my desk. It helped me feel like "going to work". Granted, this didn't happen all the time, but most days. I'm looking for remote work again and realizing I want a few fun/random items that are also easy to wear for WFH. But at the same time I know that when I buy too many random items I never wear them so maybe I lean more into the useful and personal list because I want to reflect my personality, but at the same time have that look feel elevated.
lin said…
Jenkr: Yeah I think I have a lot of random things for my lifestyle, but I end up keeping most of them because they're very useful every time I get the itch of boredom. I would love to have things that are properly functional, elevated and fun all in one, but in reality it's easier for me to put together an outfit with items from different categories instead.

Aileen said…
I do not categorize my clothes like this, but maybe I should. For the two years prior to the pandemic, I subscribed to Rent the Runway, which meant that I bought very few clothes. Then I spent a year and a half working from home and barely leaving my house except to buy groceries. Now, I wear a uniform to work, so the result is I have hardly anything to wear right now. I've also been learning to sew my own clothes, but I haven't been very methodical about it and have just been sewing whatever looks appealing in the moment, which is fun but still leaves me with lot of holes in my wardrobe. Plus, knowing how to sew makes me hesitate to buy anything because I always think I could make something similar myself.
I like what you have done, categorizing everything. You're right that wearing just basics can make you feel bored, and boring. An outfit can be a reflection of your mood, but it can also dampen or life your mood.
MC Bontemps said…
I don’t have much in my wardrobe that is merely useful and basic without also being in some way expressive of some aspect of my personal style, so your list isn’t intuitive for me. What I think about for putting it all together is mostly about proportions, functionality and being appropriate. I have favourite formulae for when I need to do something dressy but want the option of hopping on the metro or walking home after dinner, or when I have a business meeting in the middle of a day otherwise filled with errands, or when I know weather conditions are going to vary.

And then I’ll think about proportions, like big pants or a big skirt = a snug top. Or maybe a cropped one ? Or a belt ? Or a bit more ankle than usual ? And for sure capacity for attention. Sometimes I’ll do print-on-print or colour-with-colour or sexy or even flashy when I’m in the right mood to handle the extra attention. But even then, for my life anyway, appropriate >> attention.
lin said…
Aileen: I hope I can psych myself to complete at least one sewing project this year....just unpacked my sewing machine (it's a hand me down from a friend). I thought it would be boring to categorise my stuff but it was quite validating to see that my clothing choices were more consistent than I realised. I think there are lots of ways to do this and maybe you'll find something that works for you!

MC Bontemps: Yeah I didn't expect for this to make sense to me but it did. After I started working from home full-time, the functions in my life don't call for much differentiation in how I dress, so I think that kind of forced me to think about the very very small details.
Doing this has also giving me the headspace to think about some of the things you talked about, like proportions.
Lori said…
I love this outfit! And all the thoughts that come with it. In my closet, which I track meticulously, I don't think I have much of the "basics" but a lot of the "personal" and the "random". I don't do well with basics. Maybe it's my body shape or my rejection of norms, etc.I'm okay with that. But while I have been striving to reduce the "random" , I do like the idea that it works for boredom. I do get bored often, I feel the need for fresh inspiration a lot, while also feeling very dismissive of trends. It's a difficult balance.
lin said…
Lori: Yeah I'm really enjoying how everyone's approach to dressing is different and highly personal...my problem is that my tastes are quite basic and minimal and it can be so easy to feel boring, and what I got out of this exercise was that actually my excessive number of basics was a great way to get more wear out of my rarely-worn randoms.

I feel a lot of what you say about seeking inspiration while often feeling dismissive...I think because of social media, we're being asked to look at stuff all the time and I do get a bit cynical when I see a look or a thing or a brand going everywhere on the Internet.

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