a breach

This ban had been going well enough (it's in its third month and counting) - it's made me develop the patience and self-control needed to resist buying something simply because it's wonderful - it's the art of being able to admire without feeling the need to own.

I work in dangerous proximity to some of my favourite stores and I have been masochistically going to all of them as usual and letting myself be tempted. But saying no was always surprisingly easy. I simply thought of my wardrobe and decided I like it the way it is.

It's helped that I did a lot of shopping in the past few years and it feels like I've hit a sweet spot where I feel that I have covered my needs and there are ''perfections" in my wardrobe that can't been easily supplanted. Yes I still haven't found the perfect white silk blouse (two years and counting) and I've been thinking I need a purse/clutch but I haven't felt like I have nothing to wear in months.

Then I broke the ban this week. Hah.

Making use of the "impossible-to-pass-up bargain" clause, I bought a pair of shoes from Naturalizer for S$41.95, marked down from S$99. It was one of those moments of absolute clarity, the "this is it" bell going off, and deciding to break the ban was shockingly easy.



So, I've broken the ban, no matter how justified I feel about it. Is this the start of a long list of excuses to buy other things?



The ban isn't over, it will never be over. It's a lifetime exercise in self-discipline. I am amazed by the relief I feel that I don't have to agonise over things, because I am not "allowed" to shop, it's like things are resistable because the "choice" is taken out of my hands. Hence, when I really consider something, I know it's not just another impulse to acquire.
So after all that rambling, hurrah for my new shoes, and can't wait to break them out.

Comments

yanqin said…
-h: I didn't know Naturalizer had cute shoes either. Pure chance that I walked in at all.

I dislike the word ban for its restrictive-ness, especially in this case when it seems to bring about more liberation in time. But I think forcing myself to think and hold off buying has been good for me, thank goodness it didn't lead to binges!
Ammu said…
Lovely shoes! I think these were worth breaking the ban for :)

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